The History of AT&T

Colbert describes the history of AT&T and what they are today.

Peach-aphobia

This guy is terrified of peaches.

World's Strongest Girl

World's Strongest Girl. It looks fake but it's real. Take it easy on the muscles lady.

Mr. Walken Breaks It Down

Hilarious video of Christopher Walken dancing to Weapon of Choice.

Airline Complaint from a Passenger

Complaint from an angry passenger.

72-year old beats 26-year old

Don't mess with those oldies.

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - Bill Barnes says he was scratching off a losing $2 lottery ticket inside a gas station when he felt a hand slip into his front-left pants pocket, where he had $300 in cash. He immediately grabbed the person's wrist with his left hand and started throwing punches with his right, landing six or seven blows before a store manager intervened. "I guess he thought I was an easy mark," Barnes, 72, told The Grand Rapids Press for a story Tuesday. He's anything but an easy mark: Barnes served in the Marines, was an accomplished Golden Gloves boxer and retired after 20 years as an iron worker. Jesse Daniel Rae, the 27-year-old Newaygo County man accused of trying to pick Barnes' pocket, was arraigned Monday in Rockford District Court on one count of unarmed robbery, a 15-year felony.

The Kid from Nirvana - Nevermind Album Cover

For those of you that remember the Nirvana - Nevermind album cover, here he is now, and he's 17.

Tom Cruise the Scientologist - Banned

Germany bans Tom Cruise because he's a scientologist cult member!

BERLIN (Reuters) - Germany has barred the makers of a movie about a plot to kill Adolf Hitler from filming at German military sites because its star Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, the Defence Ministry said on Monday. Cruise, also one of the film's producers, is a member of the Church of Scientology which the German government does not recognise as a church. Berlin says it masquerades as a religion to make money, a charge Scientology leaders reject.

Michael Moore Calls for New 9/11 Investigation

9/11 Truther Article

Michael stated that we need a "new investigation before we get too far away from this-- to find out the whole truth." "And I intend, in my own way, to find some answers,"

Pro Jump Roper

Professional jump roper.

With one arm behind his back he swings the rope over his head and spins it under his feet - One! Then with one arm behind his back and his other under his leg, he swings the rope under his feet again - Two! His arms return to his sides, but the rope goes under his feet again - Three! Then with both arms crossed, he swings the rope under his feet one more time - Four! And he lands. The entire trick, Nestler calls it "The Scooby Doo," takes only a blink.

VIDEO: Verlander's No Hitter

Verlander gets a no hitter. First Tiger pitcher to throw a no hitter since 1984.

Dubai has wayyy to much money

Dubai never fails to disappoint with it's skyscrapers and homemade islands.

VIDEO: Conan and Walker Lever

The kid jumping off the ladder is the best.

VIDEO: Conan Baseball

Spelling Bee Winner on Kimmell

Apparently the kid left his humor at home.

Spelling Bee Winner

This kid must have been a real treat to interview... a real conversationalist.

Unemployment Check: Spelling Bee Winner

Posted Yesterday

This is why you don't homeschool your children.

VIDEO: Tramp Stamp Removal

Tattoo Remover - For more of the funniest videos, click here

VIDEO: T-Pain Buy You A Drink

Watch the first video then the second. I wouldn't recommend watching the first video very long.

VIDEO: 144 Jagerbomb Dominos

VIDEO: Shift Happens

If you think the U.S. is going to be a superpower forever, you better think again.

VIDEO: Braves Coach is Insane

Braves coach flips out at baseball game.

Increase your Gas Mileage

I'm a little sketchy about putting acetone in your tank and turning off your car at traffic lights is ridiculous, but the tire pressure, air filter, spark plugs, wires, and cleaning out your trunk are good tips.
Double Your Gas Mileage! 2X - The funniest videos are a click away

Win At Blackjack

Ruin those casinos. Check out bagman at the end.
Cheat Blackjack Win Money $$ - Free videos are just a click away

Swear Jar Commercial

Win A Kidney - TV Show

I'm sorry but this is just sick. There's no way you should have to compete on a television show for a kidney to save your life. Maybe the tv show should spend their money elsewhere and save more lives than broadcasting about how they helped save one person and then said sorry to the rest of the contestants because they didn't win the competition.
Win A Kidney Show creates uproar.

Class Finder

Determines what class you fall in through type of job, level of education, income and wealth.
What Class are you in?

Advertising at it's best.

Unbelievable ads from back in the day (Click to see).

VIDEO: Koenigsegg CCX

This guy from Top Gear has the best job ever. Give me that.

VIDEO: Chapelle on Conan

VIDEO: The Office: Dwight Schrute Bucks

Sorry for all of The Office videos, but this is funny.

Skyscraper in Dubai that rotates

Skyscraper in Dubai rotates. That would be awesome. A different view outside of your house all the time.

In skyscraper-crazy Dubai, tall isn't enough. In a design to be unveiled today in the oil-rich emirate, David Fisher, an Italian-Israeli architect, has dreamed up a 68-story combination hotel, apartment and office tower where the floors would rotate 360 degrees. Each floor would rotate independently, creating a constantly changing architectural form.

18-yr Old Completes the Seven Summits

18-yr old is the youngest to climb all seven summits. What an animal.

Here's a list of the Seven Summits and climbers that have completed them.

VIDEO: United 300

It's 300 (the Movie) on a plane.

VIDEO: Leno: Borat & Martha

It's very nice.

George Carlin Quotes NSFW

Best George Carlin Quotes

Pastor Buys $4.0mm House, AVOIDING Taxes

What a bunch of BS. Everyone else in this world pays taxes, tax these people too.

NORTHVILLE TOWNSHIP -- A Redford Township church that believes wealth is God's reward is raising eyebrows for buying its pastor a $3.65 million mansion and taking it off the tax rolls. This month, township officials grudgingly conceded they had no choice but to remove the 11,000-square-foot home overlooking Maybury State Park from its assessment rolls, losing $40,000 annually in taxes. They concluded the plush pad is a parsonage, but that hasn't quelled debate among township officials and neighbors about whether Christian charity extends to the Detroit World Outreach Church's purchase in September of the home for Pastor Ben Gibert and his wife and co-pastor, Charisse Gibert. "I also have faith in God, but I don't expect to live in such opulence," said Evgenia Asimakis, a single mother of two who lives nearby and has trouble paying her property taxes. Her neighbor, Gary Wall, is blunter: "You don't need a multimillion-dollar place to see God. He'll take a lot less." Detroit World Outreach Church isn't apologizing. In fact, members say the mansion is proof God has blessed them.

VIDEO: Amazing Grace - The Next Idol

Someone sign this guy a record deal, NOW!
Worst Singer Ever Omazing Grace - Watch more free videos

VIDEO: Bugatti Veyron Top Speed 250mph+

This car is amazing.

Deep Puddle

The puddle is deeper than this lady thinks. Click for pics.

VIDEO: Grandma Johnson

Grandma Johnson talks about the news. This lady is crazy.

Freeway Collapse from Tanker Explosion

Tanker explosion collapses freeway in Oakland.

Housing Prices Down

Home prices fall fastest rate in 13 years.

Prices will probably continue falling, said Goldman Sachs economists in a research note. "We expect [the index] to be down about 5% by the end of 2007. If anything, it's getting there a bit faster than we anticipated," they wrote. Prices fell year-over-year in 13 of the 20 cities, led by Detroit (down 7.8%), San Diego (down 5%), Boston (down 4.7%) and Washington (down 4.3%). On the other hand, prices have risen 10.6% in the past year in Seattle, 7.7% in Portland, Ore., and 7.3% in Charlotte, N.C. Other cities in the index: Atlanta, up 2.1% year-on-year; Chicago, up 1.7%; Cleveland, down 2.7%; Dallas, up 1.3%; Denver, down 1.6%; Las Vegas, down 1%; Los Angeles, down 0.4%; Miami, up 2.9%; Minneapolis, down 1.6%; New York, down 1.8%; Phoenix, down 2.1%; San Francisco, down 2.2%; and Tampa, down 1.1%.

Bad if you already own a house/houses. Good if you are looking to buy.

Dollar Hot Dogs Shipped to Your Door

This guy offers to cook and ship you a hot dog in the mail for $1.

If you're hungry for a hotdog, you're in luck. For only $1, I will cook you a hot dog and mail it to you. Just PayPal me a buck, and I will personally cook you a delicious hotdog, and then ship it out to you! I'm really good at making hot dogs, so you may even want to buy a few! Generally speaking, I throw them on the Foreman Grill, to give them a nice even cook. But if I have a lot to cook, I might put them on the regular grill outside. I can boil them, or cook them on an electric griddle, by special request only. I suppose I could even microwave them if you want. If you buy 5, I'll throw one in for free, and send you 6 hotdogs. Now, because your hot dog may get cold during shipment, I also include instructions to re-heat your hot dog, at no additional charge. They make great gag gifts, so if you need a joke gift for a friend, a white elephant exchange, or just want to play a prank on someone, order them a hotdog or two (definately add the Deluxe Condiment Pack as well, which is the second PayPal button) and I'll totally mail it to them...I will even include a personalized message of your choice. Just type it into the "Special Instructions" section on the PayPal checkout.

What a weird idea. He even includes reheating instructions when you receive your dog, unbelievable.

Dow Tops 13,000 points for the first time

The Dow Flies High.

Wild for the Cup

Some crazy hairdos (click for more). These people are cup crazy.

Illegal Bones Factory Discovered

Illegal Bones Factory. I've never heard of anything like it. Weird.

Indian police discovered a human "bones factory" in an eastern state on Monday and arrested six people for illegally trading in skeletons, a senior officer said. The arrested men told police the bones were sold to medical students and used in traditional medicine, district police chief Peeyush Pandey said. Investigators found dozens of skeletons -- treated with chemicals -- laid out to dry in the sun when they reached a river bank in Keshia, 200 kilometers (125 miles) north of Kolkata, capital of West Bengal state. "We received complaints that several bodies were missing from graveyards and, while investigating the case, we stumbled on the secret bones factory," Pandey said.

Man Walks on Water

H2O Walker.

VIDEO: Patient Trooper

This patient trooper takes this guy's flak and loves it.

First Day of Work, Plumber Burns Down Mansion

17-year old plumber begins career by burning down a $12 million dollar mansion. Not bad for the first day on a job.

"I heard it was started by a teenager on his first day. You have to feel sorry for the poor lad. He must feel terrible," a neighbour said. Nobody was hurt in the incident.

Toyota Prius Stinks Up the World

Just when you thought the Toyota Prius was an environmentally safe car, it fails emissions tests in Georgia. This is hilarious because you see these environmentalists driving them, thinking they are doing something good, when in reality they are just stinking up the place.

Virginia Tech Shootings - Professor Saves Lives

Article. Professor saves students lives by holding door closed at Virginia Tech Shootings. Condition of the professor or whereabouts is unknown.

Mallalieu said his professor held the door shut while students darted to the windows. Some climbed on desks, ledges and a radiator cover to pull down the screens and kick at the metal-framed glass, Mallalieu said. Three windows easily gave way and swung open on hinges as the gunshots got louder. Closer. "It sounded like he was going out into the hallway," said Mallalieu, a civil engineering major from Luray, Va. Once the windows for the sec ond-floor classroom were open, Mallalieu and most of his classmates hung out of them and dropped about 10 feet to bushes and grass below, he said. Some students ran to a nearby building. Others waited to help students who had been injured in the fall, Mallalieu said. But then the sound of gunfire filled their classroom, sending all who had escaped toward nearby Patton Hall, he said. Mallalieu said he never saw Librescu escape. "I don't think my teacher got out." Librescu, a professor of engineering science and mechanics who was educated in Romania and is a U.S. citizen, could not be reached Monday. As of 4 p.m., his wife had not been able to find him either. "I am looking also. I know that he was shot, but I cannot find him," she said, panicked, in a phone interview. "How is it possible that a wife cannot know?"

Toilets Catch Fire in Tokyo

Toilets catch on fire, recall imminent.

"Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries," Tanaka said. "The fire would have been just under your buttocks." The popular Z series features a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, built-in-the-bowl deodorizing filter, the "Tornado Wash" flush and a lid that opens and closes automatically. Prices range from $1,680 to $2,600.

T-Rex & Chicken are Cousins

T-Rex is a distant cousin of the modern chicken.
Are you serious?

Conan O'Brien's 2000 Harvard Commencement Speech

Harvard University Commencement Speech by Conan O'Brien.
This is hilarious, here are some excerpts:

Students of the Harvard Class of 2000, fifteen years ago I sat where you sit now and I thought exactly what you are now thinking: What's going to happen to me? Will I find my place in the world? Am I really graduating a virgin? I still have 24 hours and my roommate's Mom is hot. I swear she was checking me out. Being here today is very special for me. I miss this place. I especially miss Harvard Square - it's so unique. No where else in the world will you find a man with a turban wearing a Red Sox jacket and working in a lesbian bookstore. Hey, I'm just glad my dad's working. ... The point is that, although you see me as a celebrity, a member of the cultural elite, a kind of demigod, I was actually a student here once much like you. I came here in the fall of 1981 and lived in Holworthy. I was, without exaggeration, the ugliest picture in the Freshman Face book. When Harvard asked me for a picture the previous summer, I thought it was just for their records, so I literally jogged in the August heat to a passport photo office and sat for a morgue photo. To make matters worse, when the Face Book came out they put my picture next to Catherine Oxenberg, a stunning blonde actress who was accepted to the class of '85 but decided to defer admission so she could join the cast of "Dynasty." My photo would have looked bad on any page, but next to Catherine Oxenberg, I looked like a mackerel that had been in a car accident. You see, in those days I was six feet four inches tall and I weighed 150 pounds. Recently, I had some structural engineers run those numbers into a computer model and, according to the computer, I collapsed in 1987, killing hundreds in Taiwan. ... After graduating in May, I moved to Los Angeles and got a three week contract at a small cable show. I got a $380 a month apartment and bought a 1977 Isuzu Opel, a car Isuzu only manufactured for a year because they found out that, technically, it's not a car. Here's a quick tip, graduates: no four cylinder vehicle should have a racing stripe. I worked at that show for over a year, feeling pretty good about myself, when one day they told me they were letting me go. I was fired and, I hadn't saved a lot of money. I tried to get another job in television but I couldn't find one. ... So, that's what I wish for all of you: the bad as well as the good. Fall down, make a mess, break something occasionally. And remember that the story is never over. If it's all right, I'd like to read a little something from just this year: "Somehow, Conan O'Brien has transformed himself into the brightest star in the Late Night firmament. His comedy is the gold standard and Conan himself is not only the quickest and most inventive wit of his generation, but quite possible the greatest host ever."

Royal Dutch to Produce Oil for Half the Price?

Royal Dutch Shell is patenting a technique to convert shale to petroleum at a cost of only about $30/barrel. At half the cost of a barrel of oil today ($60), we can see benefits. What does this mean? Cheaper energy costs, cheaper gas, less inflation problems, more efficient businesses. The largest source of the shale in the world is in the U.S. If it works, expect cheaper gas, and a wealth of new money for the U.S. The theory could be garbage, but you never know.

Nancy Cartwright (Bart Simpson) Interview

I had no idea a lady did the voice of Bart Simpson. She also does the voices of Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney and Maggie Simpson's laugh.

The Internet - What people do.

What do users do on the internet Interesting article that shows what people do on the net, and some of the drawbacks.

Grindhouse Double-Feature to Split?

Grindhouse - great reviews, no income
The company may be splitting up the double-feature to possibly bring in more money after the horrible sales the first weekend. It's getting great reviews, I'll have to check it out.

Here's the trailer:

VIDEO: 34-Yr Old Fisherman Completes Obstacles

He is only the second to complete the obstacles, out of over 500 people. The last minute in the video is crazy when he climbs to the top of the building.

Eating the/with Fish

First ever underwater restaurant

Warren Buffet and Bill Gates Hit Hooters

Buffet and Gates shoot pic with Hooter's girls.
Hilarious.

The Money Race for the White House

Why do presidential candidates need so much money?

"An American presidential election is like a world war fought on many fronts in which you really have to deploy your forces across a large geographical area," said Ross Baker, professor of political science at Rutgers University. Candidates seeking the nomination of their parties undergo a complex series of tests in individual states' primaries, which occur over a number of months. The earlier primaries tend to be more important because the parties coalesce around the leaders as weaker candidates start dropping out.

VIDEO: O'Reilly and Snoop Dog

VIDEO: American Gladiators: Malibu

Obama Challenges Hillary in Fundraising

Barack Obama raises $25 million for fundraising, trumping Hillary.

DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) - Democrat Barack Obama raked in $25 million for his presidential bid in the first three months of 2007, placing him on a par with front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton and dashing her image as the party's inevitable nominee. Obama's fundraising number came from an official in his campaign who spoke on condition of anonymity. The eye-popping figure was the latest evidence that Obama, a political newcomer who has served just two years in the Senate, has emerged as the most powerful new force in presidential politics this year. It also reinforced his status as a significant threat to Clinton, who'd hoped her own $26 million first quarter fundraising total would begin to squeeze her rivals out of contention.

Take that Billary. She thinks she can't be rivaled. I also love the above picture, it looks like he's taunting her and laughing in her face.

Cincinnatti Mayor Pitches to China

Quite possibly the worst opening day pitch ever. He wanted to re-throw and the Ref says no due to the safety risk for ALL Ohio-ans.

Daylight Savings Gives No Savings

New Daylight Savings Time = No increased energy savings

The US government's plan to boost energy savings by moving Daylight Saving Time forward by three weeks was apparently a waste of time and effort, as the technological foibles Americans experienced failed to give way to any measurable energy savings. While the change caused no major infrastructure problems in the country, plenty of electronics and computer systems that were designed with the original DST switchover date (first Sunday in April) failed to update. The inconvenience was minor, and the potential savings were great. Or so we were told by the politicians behind the move. As it turns out, the US Department of Energy (and almost everyone else except members of Congress) was correct when they predicted that there would be little energy savings. This echoed concerns voiced after a similar experiment was attempted in Australia. Critics pointed out a basic fact: the gains in the morning will be offset by the losses at night, and vice-versa, at both ends of the switch. That appears to be exactly what happened. Reuters spoke with Jason Cuevas, spokesman for Southern Co. power, who said it plainly: "We haven't seen any measurable impact." New Jersey's Public Service Enterprise Group said the same thing: "no impact" on their business.

I love meaningless changes that affect millions of people. Who forgot to do research when they implemented this? Australia already tried it. It failed. Maybe it would be different in the U.S. Wrong.

Internet Crap - Dark Porcelain

Google Introduces Free Internet through your toilet on April Fools

Senior executives at Google Inc. launched their annual April Fools Day prank Sunday, posting a link on the company's home page to a site offering consumers free high-speed wireless Internet through their home plumbing systems. Code-named "Dark Porcelain," Google said its "Toilet Internet Service Provider" (TiSP) works with Microsoft Corp.'s new Windows Vista operating system. But sorry—septic tanks are incompatible with the system's requirements. The gag included a mock press release quoting Google co-founder and president Larry Page, a step-by-step online installation manual, and a scatological selection of Frequently Asked Questions. On some Google sites, the company's official logo—a multicolored "Google" that changes according to the season and on holidays—substituted a commode for the second "g." "There's actually a thriving little underground community that's been studying this exact solution for a long time," Page said in the facetious statement. "And today our Toilet ISP team is pleased to be leading the way through the sewers, up out of your toilet and—splat—right onto your PC."

Blades of Glory

Blades of Glory smashes box office.

Audi R8

The new Audi R8.

VIDEO: Everything's Bigger in Texas

Bono Becomes A Real Jedi Knight

Bono the Jedi Knight.

DUBLIN, Ireland (AP) -- Irish rock star and global humanitarian Bono became a knight of the British empire Thursday -- and joked that his youngest son thought he was about to join the Jedi order instead. Bono's two boys sat cross-legged on the floor throughout the ceremony. Bono said John was disappointed that his dad was not presented with a Star Wars light saber. "He thought I was becoming a Jedi," Bono said.

25 Worst Rapper Names

The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time.

Vulgar Hestkuk Yelling

Norwegian police must tolerate more abuse.

A 34-year-old man from Alta was acquitted this week for calling a police officer a "hestkuk" (horse p***s) after having his drivers license confiscated after a seat belt check, newspaper Finnmark Dagblad reports. A majority of the court again decided that this expression was normal in that part of the country and was in nearly daily use - therefore it should be tolerable. Police have appealed the verdict.

A normal expression that is used daily? Hestkuk this. Hestkuk that.

Robot Chicken

Not as good as the torn video

Snow Angels Hold World Record

BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) - Legislators waved their arms in a snow-angel salute Wednesday to celebrate North Dakota recapturing a world record for those whimsical works of winter. Guinness World Records has confirmed that the state holds the world record for the most snow angels made simultaneously in one place, said Marilyn Snyder, the education curator for the State Historical Society of North Dakota. "If anybody wants to challenge (the snow angel record), bring 'em on." said state Senator Dick Dever, who sponsored a resolution celebrating the achievement that the Senate approved Wednesday. It now goes to the state House.

8,962 Snow Angels set record in Guinness Book.
Whose brilliant idea was this?

World's Tallest Man Gets Hitched

BEIJING (Reuters) - The world's tallest man, whose search for a bride covered the world, ended up marrying a woman from his home town nearly half his age and more than two feet shorter, Chinese media reported on Wednesday.

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Bao Xishun, 56, a 2.36-metre (7-ft, 9-inch) herdsman listed by Guinness World Records as the tallest living man, married a 29-year-old saleswoman, the Beijing News said. Both come from Chifeng in Inner Mongolia.

"After sending out marriage advertisements across the world and going through a long selection process, the efforts have finally paid off," the newspaper said.

It was the first wedding for Bao and his bride, Xia Shujuan, a mere 1.68 metres (5 ft 6 inches) tall.

Bao reached his height in a seven-year spurt that began in his teens and which doctors have yet to explain, according to Guinness.

After a career in the army, where he was recruited for a basketball team, he returned to Inner Mongolia. He now herds livestock and hires himself out for publicity stunts.

In December, Bao saved the lives of two dolphins by reaching deep into their stomachs with his 1.06-metre (42-inch) long arm to pull out pieces of plastic, according to Chinese media.

Where Art Thou Sewage?

Source: geo.utep.edu

15 million gallons of sewage lost.

SAND LAKE, Mich. (AP) -- About 15 million gallons of partially treated sewage water disappeared from a 250,000 square-foot storage lagoon into a sinkhole, but officials don't know where it went after that. "It's an odd case. A sinkhole gobbled up all the water and we don't know where it went... It seems to have just gone down into the earth. "We don't smell anything and we don't see anything."

I feel bad for the sinkhole that "gobbled it up". If you see murky brown tap water coming out of your faucet, you might want to call someone.

The Evolution of M. Jackson's FACE

Source: Encore Celebrities.com

The Evolution of Michael Jackson (click for pics). Wow he looks incredible, all of those plastic surgeries really helped. Look at his nose in the second to last picture, I think it's about to fall off.

Mating Dog Gets Hospitalized

Too much mating puts dog in hospital.

A male dog in Chengdu, Sichuan, had to receive an intravenous drip in hospital after being given Viagra and made to mate with three female dogs on a single day. Wang, the dog's owner, has been very busy since mating season arrived. Her dog is considered handsome, and many owners of female dogs want her dog to sire puppies with their pets. Wang can earn more than 1,000 yuan ($128) per breeding session, so in order to boost her earnings she fed her dog Viagra and made it mate with three female dogs last Sunday. The effort was apparently strenuous enough that the dog had to be taken to hospital.

Wang is one sick owner.

Man Cuddles with Car at Gas Station

Drunk man falls asleep while filling up his car with gas. He was 4x the legal limit and fell asleep on the ground, next to his car.

VIDEO: Winona St. vs. Barton BBall Championship

What a finish.

VIDEO: Billiards Shark

Thanks to Chase.

VIDEO: Kevin James Standup

VIDEO: Allen Iverson Burning Jordan

AI in his early days making Jordan look silly.

Iraq vs. Detroit - The Showdown

Parts of Iraq are no more dangerous than Detroit says Congressman.

During an interview Monday with WILS-AM, Rep. Tim Walberg said the returning troops he has talked with "indicate to me that 80 to 85 percent, in a conservative fashion, of the country is reasonably under control, at least as well as Detroit or Chicago or any of our other big cities. That's an encouraging sign."

Well that's comforting, I'm sure whether to feel good for Iraq or bad for Detroit.

Hawaiian Pizza Head

Man with Ham and Pineapple Pizza Tattooed on his HEAD. That looks pretty good, almost as good as Cat Man. Yes that guy is real.

The tattoo took three hours to complete and features three types of ham, chunks of pineapple and long strands of cheese dripping down Mr Helsby's neck.

He said: "I'm really pleased with it, and I'll keep my head shaved at the back for a few weeks to show it off."

Top Jobs

A List of the Top 20 Jobs in America.

Allergic to Technology

Uk Lady allergic to cell phones, microwaves, wireless internet and the like. Worst disease ever.

Valet Madness

Valet drives amputees car into amputee. He accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake? It must have been tough to figure out the part where the brake isn't the gas. Stupid.

VIDEO: Cop Leprechaun

VIDEO: We're All Racists

VIDEO: Strangers with Candy - Could be funny

Musical Genius

Listening to music makes you smart

Scientists have uncovered the first concrete evidence that playing music can significantly enhance the brain and sharpen hearing for all kinds of sounds, including speech.

"Experience with music appears to help with many other things in life, potentially transferring to activities like reading or picking up nuances in tones of voices or hearing sounds in a noisy classroom better," researcher Nina Kraus, a neuroscientist at Northwestern University, told LiveScience.

Scout Makes Beef Jerky

Missing Boy Scout found

“Nothing was going on. He was in good spirits,” Auberry said. “He ate lunch, chatting with the boys. He was walking around with I think some Pringles and a mess kit. The next moment, sounds like a blink of the eye, he was gone.”

“They do a great job in the scouts of educating the kids of what to beware of and tips. I’m hopeful that Michael has taken those to heart,” he said. “I hope he’s hunkered down. I hope he’s found a warm place.”

“I think he’s got some of that book in his mind,” Auberry said. “In my fantasy, when they find him, he’ll be making beef jerky somewhere or something like that. He’s got a lot of resources to draw from.”

If you ever get lost in the woods: bring Pringles, a mess kit, hunker down in a warm place, and make Dad think you are making beef jerky somewhere.

VIDEO: Get Rid of Telemarketers

Enron Humor

Kenneth Lay's Children Inherit 4,000 Pensions. Funny and probably well-deserved.

"Dad would take us down to the Enron office, and he would show us all the happy, hardworking people there," Mark Lay said. "He would tell us, 'Kids, one day, everything these people have will be yours.'"

"One year, [Lay's stepson] Beau made the Dean's List, and Dad was so proud, he gave him someone's liquidated health care plan," Mark Lay said. "And another time, out of the blue, he came home with 340 dental packages in his arms. He gave them out like candy. Even the dog got one. He was such a thoughtful, kind man."

Fake Name Gets Man Jailed

Man gets pulled over and taken to jail for a suspended license. The passenger in the car agrees to drive the car but gives police a fake name. The fake name was for a wanted felon, so they take the passenger to jail also. The passenger ended up getting off with giving a false statement to police.

VIDEO: Jeopardy Shennanigans

Check out this crazy video. 1-25 Million chances that this would happen, but instead of wanting to win, the guy on the left was more concerned about making it a tie.. or maybe not? you be the judge.

Old Man Preaches to Young Man

Advice to Young Men from an Old Man. Some of these are funny.

Hilarious collection of newspaper ads (use the scroll bar)

Man wins 700,000 British pounds ($1.4 million) on a 2 pound ($4) bet.

He said everyone kept asking him how he planned to spend the money, adding: "I've not decided yet but I know I'm going to take my wife on a bloody good holiday."

Almost Cold German Rabbit Stew

Beagle rescued from a mountain ledge in Tennessee.

Highlights:

"A group of cheerleaders from Heritage High School had camped across the highway the night before and complained they couldn't get any sleep because of the dog's howls.
After watching the rescue, they did what cheerleaders do. They cheered."

"The dog's name is Hass, short for Hasenfeffer, a German rabbit stew."

The cheer went something like "ha ha, you are stuck on a mountain ledge you L-O-S-E-R dog named after German rabbit stew," in some sort of cheerleader chanting.

No More Couches On the Beach

Couches and other indoor furniture banned on Cocoa Beach. That just ruined my weekend.

VIDEO: Think the Guy Below Is a Winner?...HA!

"I have a tattoo of a butt, on my butt.."

Electra Falls

Carmen Electra takes a spill on the runway (Video inside)

VIDEO: Ladies, can't find a true man? Look no further than the video below

Those Crazy, Sleepy, Russians!

Russian survives snooze on train track
source: stunning-stuff.com

A Russian man who fell asleep between train tracks failed to wake up when a 140-tonne cargo train passed over him.
Vladimir Rasimov passed out and fell asleep between the tracks as he took a short cut home after going out with some friends in a bar.

The train driver saw somebody on the line and braked sharply. When rescuers tried to pull the drunken sleeper from underneath the carriages the man was still sleeping. Unfortunately the rescuers failed and the train had to carry on to free him.

Train driver Vladimir Slabiy said: "I saw a man lying between the tracks and tried to stop, but it was too late. The train went right over him and I thought he must have been killed."

"But when I got out and checked he was still lying there fast asleep."

"If he had woken up from the noise of the train he would have lifted his head and been hit by the undercarriage and that would have been the end of him. It was lucky he was so drunk."

High-Roller Pizza

Luxury Pizza costs $1000 for one pie. Lobster, caviar, salmon. This is preposterous.

VIDEO: These Guys Just Want a Date

"You can call me BBQ Lou, I got a thing for barbecue ribs"
"I go to clubs, get the groove on, that's kinda my life"
"I'm sick of playing the field and I don't need to date everything that moves"
"I would like a woman who can just get down and bowl"

VIDEO: Mobile, Alabama Leprechaun News Story

Did it rain LSD in Mobile?


"I wanna know where da gold at, I want da gold, gimmee da gold, I want da gold"

Did that guy want gold or something? Thought I heard him mention gold. Not sure though.


This was necessary....after watching that news story I think this was almost inevitable, thank you to Mark H for making this.

Sly Stalone Is on Hormones?

Sylvester Stallone charged with Importing a Banned Hormone in Australia. Rocky really is desperate to win the fight.


Source: external.cache.el-mundo.net

This was at the end of the article:
"Stallone and President Bush share the same birthday. According to Wikipedia, Stallone is also one of President George W. Bush's two favorite actors. The other is fellow action hero and conservative Chuck Norris. Both men attended Bush's inauguration as President in 2001, but Stallone also hosted a Democratic fundraising dinner in 1998."

Bush must love movies with punches and roundhouse kicks to the face.

Borat the Kazakhistani

Borat movie a big hit in Kazakhstan.

Source: liter.kz

VIDEO: Stewie is Mean to Olivia

"Your skin has the texture of a decorative, autumn squash."

Ford & Aston Martin

Ford expected to sell their stake in Aston Martin. Expected to be bought by two Kuwaiti firms and a possible racing mogul. Desperate, desperate, desperate.

2007 NCAA Men's Bracket

Rip Off Those College Students

College textbook prices are rediculous. "Certainly there are some subjects with a legitimate need for a new textbook every couple of years because the content changes so rapidly," Katz said. But "calculus hasn't changed in 300 years, so there's no need for a new edition of a textbook every couple of years."

VIDEO: Andy McKee on Guitar

"300" Movie

"300" movie is huge hit in box office.

Here's the trailer:

Toyota's Anti-Matte Paint

Toyota releases the anti-matte paint job. It's not shiny enough, someone slap some wax on that car.

Sicko Forgets Something In Trunk

15 year old kills mother and leaves her body in the trunk of a car for over a month. You are SICK.

Miss Israel's Family Want Her Dead

Miss Israel forced to quit pagent because her two uncles and other men from her town are plotting to kill her. I love how the family wants to protect it's values by not having her dress provocatively to the rest of the world so they are willing to KILL HER. Apparently murder isn't a value in that family. New family quote "Protect our family values, murder those who don't obey."

John Connor Then & Now

What happened to John Connor from Terminator 2? It's seem as though now that he's done saving the world with Arnold, he's terminating his own life by drinking and smoking it away. Click here to see what he's been up to.

Woman Reports Stolen Cannibas to Police

As reported by the Associated Press.


WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A middle-aged New Zealand woman rang police to report a theft of cannabis plants she had been growing at her North Island home, local media reported.


The crying woman told a constable at the police station in the city of Napier the plant theft was the fourth from her property in as many years. The 45-year-old woman, who was not named, lamented someone had again sneaked on to her property at night to steal her three carefully nurtured marijuana plants.

"I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things," the woman told a police communications officer.

Senior Sergeant Mal Lochrie told local media Friday that the officer found it hard to stop smiling as the women gave details of the theft over the phone.

A community constable who visited her to take details of the theft had also warned her that her horticultural pursuits could have legal consequences, Lochrie said.

Police decided no action would be taken against the gardener, he said

GAME: Beer Pong Online

Run out of plastic cups, out of college? No need to fret, visit bpong.com to play online beer pong! Sharpen your beer pong skills as you're kissing the toilet in "real life."

Detroit Shame

The city of Detroit's deficit climbs to $163 million. Wow, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is doing a great job with the city. In the article it says the deficit resulted from "the inability to extract wage and benefit concessions from city employees"... I wonder if this encompasses Kwame's vacation expenses on his city-issued credit card, spa visits, and 10,000 bodyguards. Kwame, I hate to break it to you but you're not that important. There's a great article written a while back about how the entire city of Detroit was sold for scrap.

Here are some highlights from the article:
"There's little interest in the Detroit collectibles market right now, because virtually none of it is in mint condition"
"Detroiters can finally say goodbye to an eyesore that's blighted them for generations"
""I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus.""

Man cuts his house in two to settle a divorce. He then carried his half away in a forklift truck. That's one way to split up the assets.


www.forklift-manufacturer.com

VIDEO: Sweet jam session

VIDEO: This is what life is all about

There's no sign of the second winner of the $390 million lottery ticket. Hey, maybe the winner just "misplaced" the ticket. I don't see anything wrong with that, it's just a few lost dollars.

VIDEO: Pimp Baby Dancin

Next thing you know, he'll be pullin up in his "G-ride" with the ladies drinking crunk juice

VIDEO: (NSFW) The Swearing Parrot

VIDEO: Crazy Beat Boxer

CRAFT CORNER: Project of the Day: Box Man

Have you ever wondered if you actually could send yourself in the mail? As a former employee of a parcel company (and after listening to Alice n Chain's Man in a box) I'll discuss with you the proper steps for achieving this ambitious goal:

1) Grab your nearest box cutter - You'll need it

2) Find a box that is as long as you are, don't worry about width, it's irrelevant.

3) Next, find a reliable friend that will gently heave your bones into the box just like spinning Susan intended

4) Next, compromise leg room for breathing space. After all, what's better.. being tangled like a pretzel or suffocating? Thought so. Now, don't be too conspicuous, you don't want to blow your cover here.. 4 or 5 holes will do.

5) Have the friend that put you in the box, take you a local shipping company. Depending on your weight, this could get costly. Here's hoping you're not a fat ass - it's coming out of your wallet.

6) Now for the most important step. You cannot breathe until the clerk at the shipping center buys into the idea that your deceased Grandmother's lamp is actually the item that we're sending. Checkpoint clear.

7) Now its time for you to pray that you don't have to travel across the United States in this undersized box. Good news for you is that package handlers take excellent care of their parcels over 70 lbs. So feel free to chat about the weather with them, maybe revisit the night that never happened where you slept with their wives, you know how it works.

8) If you arrive in Tijuana, don't come after me. Consider it a vacation that you wouldn't have otherwise had. Remember, I'm just showing you the proper steps to deliver yourself in a box. I didn't guarantee you would be smart.

9) Once you arrive at your location, hopefully not Tijuana, grab a sacked lunch and maybe run for President - we need a new one anyway. Don't say i didn't save you money on a plane ticket.

Disclaimer: Don't actually try this at home, unless you are idiot, in which case, you probably deserve it.

Fourty-five year old man robs lingerie store and claims he was a female elf, named Beho, at the time. He doesn't remember what happened. I can't figure out what's worse; going to jail for robbing a store or telling the world you thought you were a female elf from a video game.

ATTN: NEW AUTHORS!

The Wild Buffoon has decided to recruit new authors. We are looking for people who are willing to put time and effort into quality posts. We require humorous, intelligent, and or strange things that happen in life. You also must post regularly. If you think you can handle the requirements, post a comment and we will contact you about being an author for the greatest blog on Earth, Universe and possibly even the Galaxy. Ever.

Regards,
The Wild Buffoon Crew

Naomi Campbell forced to scrub floors after throwing her cell phone at her maid, hitting her in the head. Everyone needs a jewel-encrusted phone because they give better reception I'm sure. I wonder what her first name spelled backwards is? I think it's "I MOAN", which is exactly what she will be doing while sweeping that warehouse.

Bank robbed in Alaska using a burning torch made out of a T-shirt and metal pole. In other news, the Geico caveman is missing.

Mom guilty for using her baby as a weapon, swinging the child at her boyfriend. Some people don't deserve anything in life, unless it's a cold jail cell.

Woman steals catfish dinner, places strategically in purse, blows her cover, gets angry, tosses money, then throws catfish, hitting workers... pretty normal I'd say.

VIDEO: Steve Carell has a few drinks

VIDEO: The Amazing, Transforming Couch

Human body parts were delivered to the wrong address. They were delivered to the home of Hannibal Lecter instead.

Man breaks into ex-girlfriends house with sword and gets in a fight with the roommate who also bears a 3-foot sword. Can't we settle "who's the best ninja" with a casual agreement?

VIDEO: Chunk Interrogated by Jack Bauer

If you've seen the show 24, this is funny. If you haven't seen The Goonies, get a life.

100 Year Old Man Teaches Gang a Lesson

100 year old man fights off teen gang with Kung-Fu. Way to go Buster. When you think old people are too decrepit to fight back, think again. That old chap looks harmless but will give Chuck Norris a run for his money.