Miss Israel's Family Want Her Dead

Miss Israel forced to quit pagent because her two uncles and other men from her town are plotting to kill her. I love how the family wants to protect it's values by not having her dress provocatively to the rest of the world so they are willing to KILL HER. Apparently murder isn't a value in that family. New family quote "Protect our family values, murder those who don't obey."

John Connor Then & Now

What happened to John Connor from Terminator 2? It's seem as though now that he's done saving the world with Arnold, he's terminating his own life by drinking and smoking it away. Click here to see what he's been up to.

Woman Reports Stolen Cannibas to Police

As reported by the Associated Press.


WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A middle-aged New Zealand woman rang police to report a theft of cannabis plants she had been growing at her North Island home, local media reported.


The crying woman told a constable at the police station in the city of Napier the plant theft was the fourth from her property in as many years. The 45-year-old woman, who was not named, lamented someone had again sneaked on to her property at night to steal her three carefully nurtured marijuana plants.

"I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things," the woman told a police communications officer.

Senior Sergeant Mal Lochrie told local media Friday that the officer found it hard to stop smiling as the women gave details of the theft over the phone.

A community constable who visited her to take details of the theft had also warned her that her horticultural pursuits could have legal consequences, Lochrie said.

Police decided no action would be taken against the gardener, he said

GAME: Beer Pong Online

Run out of plastic cups, out of college? No need to fret, visit bpong.com to play online beer pong! Sharpen your beer pong skills as you're kissing the toilet in "real life."

Detroit Shame

The city of Detroit's deficit climbs to $163 million. Wow, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is doing a great job with the city. In the article it says the deficit resulted from "the inability to extract wage and benefit concessions from city employees"... I wonder if this encompasses Kwame's vacation expenses on his city-issued credit card, spa visits, and 10,000 bodyguards. Kwame, I hate to break it to you but you're not that important. There's a great article written a while back about how the entire city of Detroit was sold for scrap.

Here are some highlights from the article:
"There's little interest in the Detroit collectibles market right now, because virtually none of it is in mint condition"
"Detroiters can finally say goodbye to an eyesore that's blighted them for generations"
""I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus.""

Man cuts his house in two to settle a divorce. He then carried his half away in a forklift truck. That's one way to split up the assets.


www.forklift-manufacturer.com

VIDEO: Sweet jam session

VIDEO: This is what life is all about

There's no sign of the second winner of the $390 million lottery ticket. Hey, maybe the winner just "misplaced" the ticket. I don't see anything wrong with that, it's just a few lost dollars.

VIDEO: Pimp Baby Dancin

Next thing you know, he'll be pullin up in his "G-ride" with the ladies drinking crunk juice

VIDEO: (NSFW) The Swearing Parrot

VIDEO: Crazy Beat Boxer

CRAFT CORNER: Project of the Day: Box Man

Have you ever wondered if you actually could send yourself in the mail? As a former employee of a parcel company (and after listening to Alice n Chain's Man in a box) I'll discuss with you the proper steps for achieving this ambitious goal:

1) Grab your nearest box cutter - You'll need it

2) Find a box that is as long as you are, don't worry about width, it's irrelevant.

3) Next, find a reliable friend that will gently heave your bones into the box just like spinning Susan intended

4) Next, compromise leg room for breathing space. After all, what's better.. being tangled like a pretzel or suffocating? Thought so. Now, don't be too conspicuous, you don't want to blow your cover here.. 4 or 5 holes will do.

5) Have the friend that put you in the box, take you a local shipping company. Depending on your weight, this could get costly. Here's hoping you're not a fat ass - it's coming out of your wallet.

6) Now for the most important step. You cannot breathe until the clerk at the shipping center buys into the idea that your deceased Grandmother's lamp is actually the item that we're sending. Checkpoint clear.

7) Now its time for you to pray that you don't have to travel across the United States in this undersized box. Good news for you is that package handlers take excellent care of their parcels over 70 lbs. So feel free to chat about the weather with them, maybe revisit the night that never happened where you slept with their wives, you know how it works.

8) If you arrive in Tijuana, don't come after me. Consider it a vacation that you wouldn't have otherwise had. Remember, I'm just showing you the proper steps to deliver yourself in a box. I didn't guarantee you would be smart.

9) Once you arrive at your location, hopefully not Tijuana, grab a sacked lunch and maybe run for President - we need a new one anyway. Don't say i didn't save you money on a plane ticket.

Disclaimer: Don't actually try this at home, unless you are idiot, in which case, you probably deserve it.

Fourty-five year old man robs lingerie store and claims he was a female elf, named Beho, at the time. He doesn't remember what happened. I can't figure out what's worse; going to jail for robbing a store or telling the world you thought you were a female elf from a video game.

ATTN: NEW AUTHORS!

The Wild Buffoon has decided to recruit new authors. We are looking for people who are willing to put time and effort into quality posts. We require humorous, intelligent, and or strange things that happen in life. You also must post regularly. If you think you can handle the requirements, post a comment and we will contact you about being an author for the greatest blog on Earth, Universe and possibly even the Galaxy. Ever.

Regards,
The Wild Buffoon Crew

Naomi Campbell forced to scrub floors after throwing her cell phone at her maid, hitting her in the head. Everyone needs a jewel-encrusted phone because they give better reception I'm sure. I wonder what her first name spelled backwards is? I think it's "I MOAN", which is exactly what she will be doing while sweeping that warehouse.

Bank robbed in Alaska using a burning torch made out of a T-shirt and metal pole. In other news, the Geico caveman is missing.

Mom guilty for using her baby as a weapon, swinging the child at her boyfriend. Some people don't deserve anything in life, unless it's a cold jail cell.

Woman steals catfish dinner, places strategically in purse, blows her cover, gets angry, tosses money, then throws catfish, hitting workers... pretty normal I'd say.

VIDEO: Steve Carell has a few drinks

VIDEO: The Amazing, Transforming Couch