Just another textbook play. Right?
Friday, February 16, 2007
No Lifeguard at the Gene Pool
On a cloudy, windy day in Portland, Oregon, something eerie was going on at the local gene pool. There was no lifeguard on duty. Local residents were in an up-cry for concern for the health of their families and future of their town.
“I’m not sure what happened to him (referring to the lifeguard), he didn’t show up to do his moral duty for the day. I thought I could rely on him to do some good in the world, but he probably had a family party to attend too.”
“There are going to be a lot of problems in nine months. We have to prepare for the worst,” another resident suggested.
A local resident, Chaz Abraham, stated “It was like a free for all, everyone was hooking up at the gene pool. I hang out with some of the best looking people in town now that the lifeguard is gone.”
Other residents in the area caught a mysterious virus going around and were vomiting all day after the news was released.
On a side note, jobs for special learning teachers and nurses have increased in the area due to projected higher demands for the future.
“I’m not sure what happened to him (referring to the lifeguard), he didn’t show up to do his moral duty for the day. I thought I could rely on him to do some good in the world, but he probably had a family party to attend too.”
“There are going to be a lot of problems in nine months. We have to prepare for the worst,” another resident suggested.
A local resident, Chaz Abraham, stated “It was like a free for all, everyone was hooking up at the gene pool. I hang out with some of the best looking people in town now that the lifeguard is gone.”
Other residents in the area caught a mysterious virus going around and were vomiting all day after the news was released.
On a side note, jobs for special learning teachers and nurses have increased in the area due to projected higher demands for the future.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Activist denies the holocaust happened
Yes, six million people must have just disappeared. Do not pass go, do not collect $100, go directly to jail.
Yes, six million people must have just disappeared. Do not pass go, do not collect $100, go directly to jail.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
It must have been cold out, this family tried barbecuing inside their house
"You don't want to be cooking with briquettes inside a house," Varelas said. "That's a no-no."
"You don't want to be cooking with briquettes inside a house," Varelas said. "That's a no-no."
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Excited Things
Some people and animals get ridiculously excited sometimes.
The CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer getting pumped up.
Some kid didn't expect this gift from Santa AT ALL.
This pug loves watching tv.
The CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer getting pumped up.
Some kid didn't expect this gift from Santa AT ALL.
This pug loves watching tv.
Monday, February 12, 2007
The Heartbreaker Delight
A local man, age 24, admits to falling in love with three different girls in three weeks. Pete Jamesfield of Salt Lake City, Utah claims he is quite the mess these days. “All these ladies I’ve met in the last three weeks or so are marriage material. I wouldn’t hesitate buying any one of them a ring… at ANY time,” he states. Recently admitting to a small problem with the second love of three weeks, Pete claims “She has this dog, and that little rascal is always there, I can’t seem to get rid of her, it’s like a package deal but I can always fall back on one of my other loves when things go awry – and that’s the beauty in this predicament I’ve gotten myself into!”
This certain love-triangle all started on the first day he met each of them. The first week he met Laverne (the first), he kept parading about and telling all of his friends, “I’m going to marry this girl, I love her.” Malory (the second) weirdly received the same treatment after the first two days he met her. “She was just as amazing as the first, no more or no less” he states. His friends believe he doesn’t want to have favorites so he keeps them all at the same “unconditional love level”.
He talked the most about Karen in the interview, she was the one that he recently met and was pondering the thought of a great proposal. “I just met her yesterday and she is amazing. She won’t stop calling. I got worried when she didn’t call me during lunch, but I got a text instead, and that is fine by me! I want the perfect proposal, maybe send her to the spa all day, get her nice and relaxed, in a good mood and then BOOM I get down on my knee, and hope she says yes. She will be a huge part of my life; I’m willing to give her a full third of it!”
This certain love-triangle all started on the first day he met each of them. The first week he met Laverne (the first), he kept parading about and telling all of his friends, “I’m going to marry this girl, I love her.” Malory (the second) weirdly received the same treatment after the first two days he met her. “She was just as amazing as the first, no more or no less” he states. His friends believe he doesn’t want to have favorites so he keeps them all at the same “unconditional love level”.
He talked the most about Karen in the interview, she was the one that he recently met and was pondering the thought of a great proposal. “I just met her yesterday and she is amazing. She won’t stop calling. I got worried when she didn’t call me during lunch, but I got a text instead, and that is fine by me! I want the perfect proposal, maybe send her to the spa all day, get her nice and relaxed, in a good mood and then BOOM I get down on my knee, and hope she says yes. She will be a huge part of my life; I’m willing to give her a full third of it!”
The Segway Phenomenon
I started thinking, is it even possible to look 'cool' riding a Segway? You may ask what a Segway is, and I'm sure you've seen them around. Here's the nifty little device.
I searched for examples of people riding them to find the answer:
Here's a couple of cool cats. I can almost guarantee they are saying "Look Ma, no hands!"
If you're a real risk taker, here's a model for you. This guy lives by the quote "If you're not livin' on the edge, you're takin' up too much space."
Here's a guy you might recognize, Mr. George W. Bush. He was probably trying to land a sweet trick and ended up falling over on his hot ride. Next time stick the landing G-Dub.
The only cool picture I've found is below, a guy jumping out of a plane with one in his hand, in which case this guy is still an idiot, like the rest, because he forgot a parachute. Maybe he's hoping the segway will break his fall.
In conclusion: It doesn't matter if you're off-roading, landing tricks, riding with no hands, or even jumping out of a place with one, a segway will NOT make you look cool. Better luck next time suckers.
I searched for examples of people riding them to find the answer:
Here's a couple of cool cats. I can almost guarantee they are saying "Look Ma, no hands!"
If you're a real risk taker, here's a model for you. This guy lives by the quote "If you're not livin' on the edge, you're takin' up too much space."
Here's a guy you might recognize, Mr. George W. Bush. He was probably trying to land a sweet trick and ended up falling over on his hot ride. Next time stick the landing G-Dub.
The only cool picture I've found is below, a guy jumping out of a plane with one in his hand, in which case this guy is still an idiot, like the rest, because he forgot a parachute. Maybe he's hoping the segway will break his fall.
In conclusion: It doesn't matter if you're off-roading, landing tricks, riding with no hands, or even jumping out of a place with one, a segway will NOT make you look cool. Better luck next time suckers.
Rosie on Anna Nicole. Gross.
Rosie seems like a considerate lady, The Donald might need to put her in her place again.
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