Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Musical Genius
Listening to music makes you smart
Scientists have uncovered the first concrete evidence that playing music can significantly enhance the brain and sharpen hearing for all kinds of sounds, including speech.
"Experience with music appears to help with many other things in life, potentially transferring to activities like reading or picking up nuances in tones of voices or hearing sounds in a noisy classroom better," researcher Nina Kraus, a neuroscientist at Northwestern University, told LiveScience.
Scout Makes Beef Jerky
Missing Boy Scout found
If you ever get lost in the woods: bring Pringles, a mess kit, hunker down in a warm place, and make Dad think you are making beef jerky somewhere.
“Nothing was going on. He was in good spirits,” Auberry said. “He ate lunch, chatting with the boys. He was walking around with I think some Pringles and a mess kit. The next moment, sounds like a blink of the eye, he was gone.”
“They do a great job in the scouts of educating the kids of what to beware of and tips. I’m hopeful that Michael has taken those to heart,” he said. “I hope he’s hunkered down. I hope he’s found a warm place.”
“I think he’s got some of that book in his mind,” Auberry said. “In my fantasy, when they find him, he’ll be making beef jerky somewhere or something like that. He’s got a lot of resources to draw from.”
If you ever get lost in the woods: bring Pringles, a mess kit, hunker down in a warm place, and make Dad think you are making beef jerky somewhere.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Enron Humor
Kenneth Lay's Children Inherit 4,000 Pensions. Funny and probably well-deserved.
"Dad would take us down to the Enron office, and he would show us all the happy, hardworking people there," Mark Lay said. "He would tell us, 'Kids, one day, everything these people have will be yours.'"
"One year, [Lay's stepson] Beau made the Dean's List, and Dad was so proud, he gave him someone's liquidated health care plan," Mark Lay said. "And another time, out of the blue, he came home with 340 dental packages in his arms. He gave them out like candy. Even the dog got one. He was such a thoughtful, kind man."
Fake Name Gets Man Jailed
Man gets pulled over and taken to jail for a suspended license. The passenger in the car agrees to drive the car but gives police a fake name. The fake name was for a wanted felon, so they take the passenger to jail also. The passenger ended up getting off with giving a false statement to police.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
VIDEO: Jeopardy Shennanigans
Check out this crazy video. 1-25 Million chances that this would happen, but instead of wanting to win, the guy on the left was more concerned about making it a tie.. or maybe not? you be the judge.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Man wins 700,000 British pounds ($1.4 million) on a 2 pound ($4) bet.
He said everyone kept asking him how he planned to spend the money, adding: "I've not decided yet but I know I'm going to take my wife on a bloody good holiday."
Almost Cold German Rabbit Stew
Beagle rescued from a mountain ledge in Tennessee.
Highlights:
The cheer went something like "ha ha, you are stuck on a mountain ledge you L-O-S-E-R dog named after German rabbit stew," in some sort of cheerleader chanting.
Highlights:
"A group of cheerleaders from Heritage High School had camped across the highway the night before and complained they couldn't get any sleep because of the dog's howls.
After watching the rescue, they did what cheerleaders do. They cheered."
"The dog's name is Hass, short for Hasenfeffer, a German rabbit stew."
The cheer went something like "ha ha, you are stuck on a mountain ledge you L-O-S-E-R dog named after German rabbit stew," in some sort of cheerleader chanting.
No More Couches On the Beach
Couches and other indoor furniture banned on Cocoa Beach. That just ruined my weekend.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Those Crazy, Sleepy, Russians!
Russian survives snooze on train track
source: stunning-stuff.com
A Russian man who fell asleep between train tracks failed to wake up when a 140-tonne cargo train passed over him.
Vladimir Rasimov passed out and fell asleep between the tracks as he took a short cut home after going out with some friends in a bar.
The train driver saw somebody on the line and braked sharply. When rescuers tried to pull the drunken sleeper from underneath the carriages the man was still sleeping. Unfortunately the rescuers failed and the train had to carry on to free him.
Train driver Vladimir Slabiy said: "I saw a man lying between the tracks and tried to stop, but it was too late. The train went right over him and I thought he must have been killed."
"But when I got out and checked he was still lying there fast asleep."
"If he had woken up from the noise of the train he would have lifted his head and been hit by the undercarriage and that would have been the end of him. It was lucky he was so drunk."
source: stunning-stuff.com
A Russian man who fell asleep between train tracks failed to wake up when a 140-tonne cargo train passed over him.
Vladimir Rasimov passed out and fell asleep between the tracks as he took a short cut home after going out with some friends in a bar.
The train driver saw somebody on the line and braked sharply. When rescuers tried to pull the drunken sleeper from underneath the carriages the man was still sleeping. Unfortunately the rescuers failed and the train had to carry on to free him.
Train driver Vladimir Slabiy said: "I saw a man lying between the tracks and tried to stop, but it was too late. The train went right over him and I thought he must have been killed."
"But when I got out and checked he was still lying there fast asleep."
"If he had woken up from the noise of the train he would have lifted his head and been hit by the undercarriage and that would have been the end of him. It was lucky he was so drunk."
High-Roller Pizza
Luxury Pizza costs $1000 for one pie. Lobster, caviar, salmon. This is preposterous.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
VIDEO: These Guys Just Want a Date
"You can call me BBQ Lou, I got a thing for barbecue ribs"
"I go to clubs, get the groove on, that's kinda my life"
"I'm sick of playing the field and I don't need to date everything that moves"
"I would like a woman who can just get down and bowl"
VIDEO: Mobile, Alabama Leprechaun News Story
Did it rain LSD in Mobile?
"I wanna know where da gold at, I want da gold, gimmee da gold, I want da gold"
Did that guy want gold or something? Thought I heard him mention gold. Not sure though.
This was necessary....after watching that news story I think this was almost inevitable, thank you to Mark H for making this.
"I wanna know where da gold at, I want da gold, gimmee da gold, I want da gold"
Did that guy want gold or something? Thought I heard him mention gold. Not sure though.
This was necessary....after watching that news story I think this was almost inevitable, thank you to Mark H for making this.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Sly Stalone Is on Hormones?
Sylvester Stallone charged with Importing a Banned Hormone in Australia. Rocky really is desperate to win the fight.
Source: external.cache.el-mundo.net
This was at the end of the article:
"Stallone and President Bush share the same birthday. According to Wikipedia, Stallone is also one of President George W. Bush's two favorite actors. The other is fellow action hero and conservative Chuck Norris. Both men attended Bush's inauguration as President in 2001, but Stallone also hosted a Democratic fundraising dinner in 1998."
Bush must love movies with punches and roundhouse kicks to the face.
Source: external.cache.el-mundo.net
This was at the end of the article:
"Stallone and President Bush share the same birthday. According to Wikipedia, Stallone is also one of President George W. Bush's two favorite actors. The other is fellow action hero and conservative Chuck Norris. Both men attended Bush's inauguration as President in 2001, but Stallone also hosted a Democratic fundraising dinner in 1998."
Bush must love movies with punches and roundhouse kicks to the face.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Ford & Aston Martin
Ford expected to sell their stake in Aston Martin. Expected to be bought by two Kuwaiti firms and a possible racing mogul. Desperate, desperate, desperate.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Rip Off Those College Students
College textbook prices are rediculous. "Certainly there are some subjects with a legitimate need for a new textbook every couple of years because the content changes so rapidly," Katz said. But "calculus hasn't changed in 300 years, so there's no need for a new edition of a textbook every couple of years."
Toyota's Anti-Matte Paint
Toyota releases the anti-matte paint job. It's not shiny enough, someone slap some wax on that car.
Sicko Forgets Something In Trunk
15 year old kills mother and leaves her body in the trunk of a car for over a month. You are SICK.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Miss Israel's Family Want Her Dead
Miss Israel forced to quit pagent because her two uncles and other men from her town are plotting to kill her. I love how the family wants to protect it's values by not having her dress provocatively to the rest of the world so they are willing to KILL HER. Apparently murder isn't a value in that family. New family quote "Protect our family values, murder those who don't obey."
John Connor Then & Now
What happened to John Connor from Terminator 2? It's seem as though now that he's done saving the world with Arnold, he's terminating his own life by drinking and smoking it away. Click here to see what he's been up to.
Woman Reports Stolen Cannibas to Police
As reported by the Associated Press.
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A middle-aged New Zealand woman rang police to report a theft of cannabis plants she had been growing at her North Island home, local media reported.
The crying woman told a constable at the police station in the city of Napier the plant theft was the fourth from her property in as many years. The 45-year-old woman, who was not named, lamented someone had again sneaked on to her property at night to steal her three carefully nurtured marijuana plants.
"I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things," the woman told a police communications officer.
Senior Sergeant Mal Lochrie told local media Friday that the officer found it hard to stop smiling as the women gave details of the theft over the phone.
A community constable who visited her to take details of the theft had also warned her that her horticultural pursuits could have legal consequences, Lochrie said.
Police decided no action would be taken against the gardener, he said
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A middle-aged New Zealand woman rang police to report a theft of cannabis plants she had been growing at her North Island home, local media reported.
The crying woman told a constable at the police station in the city of Napier the plant theft was the fourth from her property in as many years. The 45-year-old woman, who was not named, lamented someone had again sneaked on to her property at night to steal her three carefully nurtured marijuana plants.
"I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things," the woman told a police communications officer.
Senior Sergeant Mal Lochrie told local media Friday that the officer found it hard to stop smiling as the women gave details of the theft over the phone.
A community constable who visited her to take details of the theft had also warned her that her horticultural pursuits could have legal consequences, Lochrie said.
Police decided no action would be taken against the gardener, he said
Friday, March 9, 2007
GAME: Beer Pong Online
Detroit Shame
The city of Detroit's deficit climbs to $163 million. Wow, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is doing a great job with the city. In the article it says the deficit resulted from "the inability to extract wage and benefit concessions from city employees"... I wonder if this encompasses Kwame's vacation expenses on his city-issued credit card, spa visits, and 10,000 bodyguards. Kwame, I hate to break it to you but you're not that important. There's a great article written a while back about how the entire city of Detroit was sold for scrap.
Here are some highlights from the article:
"There's little interest in the Detroit collectibles market right now, because virtually none of it is in mint condition"
"Detroiters can finally say goodbye to an eyesore that's blighted them for generations"
""I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus.""
Here are some highlights from the article:
"There's little interest in the Detroit collectibles market right now, because virtually none of it is in mint condition"
"Detroiters can finally say goodbye to an eyesore that's blighted them for generations"
""I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus.""
Man cuts his house in two to settle a divorce. He then carried his half away in a forklift truck. That's one way to split up the assets.
www.forklift-manufacturer.com
www.forklift-manufacturer.com
Thursday, March 8, 2007
There's no sign of the second winner of the $390 million lottery ticket. Hey, maybe the winner just "misplaced" the ticket. I don't see anything wrong with that, it's just a few lost dollars.
VIDEO: Pimp Baby Dancin
Next thing you know, he'll be pullin up in his "G-ride" with the ladies drinking crunk juice
CRAFT CORNER: Project of the Day: Box Man
Have you ever wondered if you actually could send yourself in the mail? As a former employee of a parcel company (and after listening to Alice n Chain's Man in a box) I'll discuss with you the proper steps for achieving this ambitious goal:
1) Grab your nearest box cutter - You'll need it
2) Find a box that is as long as you are, don't worry about width, it's irrelevant.
3) Next, find a reliable friend that will gently heave your bones into the box just like spinning Susan intended
4) Next, compromise leg room for breathing space. After all, what's better.. being tangled like a pretzel or suffocating? Thought so. Now, don't be too conspicuous, you don't want to blow your cover here.. 4 or 5 holes will do.
5) Have the friend that put you in the box, take you a local shipping company. Depending on your weight, this could get costly. Here's hoping you're not a fat ass - it's coming out of your wallet.
6) Now for the most important step. You cannot breathe until the clerk at the shipping center buys into the idea that your deceased Grandmother's lamp is actually the item that we're sending. Checkpoint clear.
7) Now its time for you to pray that you don't have to travel across the United States in this undersized box. Good news for you is that package handlers take excellent care of their parcels over 70 lbs. So feel free to chat about the weather with them, maybe revisit the night that never happened where you slept with their wives, you know how it works.
8) If you arrive in Tijuana, don't come after me. Consider it a vacation that you wouldn't have otherwise had. Remember, I'm just showing you the proper steps to deliver yourself in a box. I didn't guarantee you would be smart.
9) Once you arrive at your location, hopefully not Tijuana, grab a sacked lunch and maybe run for President - we need a new one anyway. Don't say i didn't save you money on a plane ticket.
Disclaimer: Don't actually try this at home, unless you are idiot, in which case, you probably deserve it.
Fourty-five year old man robs lingerie store and claims he was a female elf, named Beho, at the time. He doesn't remember what happened. I can't figure out what's worse; going to jail for robbing a store or telling the world you thought you were a female elf from a video game.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
ATTN: NEW AUTHORS!
The Wild Buffoon has decided to recruit new authors. We are looking for people who are willing to put time and effort into quality posts. We require humorous, intelligent, and or strange things that happen in life. You also must post regularly. If you think you can handle the requirements, post a comment and we will contact you about being an author for the greatest blog on Earth, Universe and possibly even the Galaxy. Ever.
Regards,
The Wild Buffoon Crew
Regards,
The Wild Buffoon Crew
Naomi Campbell forced to scrub floors after throwing her cell phone at her maid, hitting her in the head. Everyone needs a jewel-encrusted phone because they give better reception I'm sure. I wonder what her first name spelled backwards is? I think it's "I MOAN", which is exactly what she will be doing while sweeping that warehouse.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Bank robbed in Alaska using a burning torch made out of a T-shirt and metal pole. In other news, the Geico caveman is missing.
Mom guilty for using her baby as a weapon, swinging the child at her boyfriend. Some people don't deserve anything in life, unless it's a cold jail cell.
Monday, March 5, 2007
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