Sicko Forgets Something In Trunk

15 year old kills mother and leaves her body in the trunk of a car for over a month. You are SICK.

Miss Israel's Family Want Her Dead

Miss Israel forced to quit pagent because her two uncles and other men from her town are plotting to kill her. I love how the family wants to protect it's values by not having her dress provocatively to the rest of the world so they are willing to KILL HER. Apparently murder isn't a value in that family. New family quote "Protect our family values, murder those who don't obey."

John Connor Then & Now

What happened to John Connor from Terminator 2? It's seem as though now that he's done saving the world with Arnold, he's terminating his own life by drinking and smoking it away. Click here to see what he's been up to.

Woman Reports Stolen Cannibas to Police

As reported by the Associated Press.


WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A middle-aged New Zealand woman rang police to report a theft of cannabis plants she had been growing at her North Island home, local media reported.


The crying woman told a constable at the police station in the city of Napier the plant theft was the fourth from her property in as many years. The 45-year-old woman, who was not named, lamented someone had again sneaked on to her property at night to steal her three carefully nurtured marijuana plants.

"I am a good person. I am sick of these low-lifes stealing my things," the woman told a police communications officer.

Senior Sergeant Mal Lochrie told local media Friday that the officer found it hard to stop smiling as the women gave details of the theft over the phone.

A community constable who visited her to take details of the theft had also warned her that her horticultural pursuits could have legal consequences, Lochrie said.

Police decided no action would be taken against the gardener, he said

GAME: Beer Pong Online

Run out of plastic cups, out of college? No need to fret, visit bpong.com to play online beer pong! Sharpen your beer pong skills as you're kissing the toilet in "real life."

Detroit Shame

The city of Detroit's deficit climbs to $163 million. Wow, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is doing a great job with the city. In the article it says the deficit resulted from "the inability to extract wage and benefit concessions from city employees"... I wonder if this encompasses Kwame's vacation expenses on his city-issued credit card, spa visits, and 10,000 bodyguards. Kwame, I hate to break it to you but you're not that important. There's a great article written a while back about how the entire city of Detroit was sold for scrap.

Here are some highlights from the article:
"There's little interest in the Detroit collectibles market right now, because virtually none of it is in mint condition"
"Detroiters can finally say goodbye to an eyesore that's blighted them for generations"
""I did them a favor," Ranneke said. "Believe me, Detroit's been around the block. I was willing to take it off their hands for six grand, but I caught a glimpse of that Ambassador Bridge and I said 'no way.' I am not Santa Claus.""

Man cuts his house in two to settle a divorce. He then carried his half away in a forklift truck. That's one way to split up the assets.


www.forklift-manufacturer.com

VIDEO: Sweet jam session

VIDEO: This is what life is all about

There's no sign of the second winner of the $390 million lottery ticket. Hey, maybe the winner just "misplaced" the ticket. I don't see anything wrong with that, it's just a few lost dollars.

VIDEO: Pimp Baby Dancin

Next thing you know, he'll be pullin up in his "G-ride" with the ladies drinking crunk juice

VIDEO: (NSFW) The Swearing Parrot

VIDEO: Crazy Beat Boxer

CRAFT CORNER: Project of the Day: Box Man

Have you ever wondered if you actually could send yourself in the mail? As a former employee of a parcel company (and after listening to Alice n Chain's Man in a box) I'll discuss with you the proper steps for achieving this ambitious goal:

1) Grab your nearest box cutter - You'll need it

2) Find a box that is as long as you are, don't worry about width, it's irrelevant.

3) Next, find a reliable friend that will gently heave your bones into the box just like spinning Susan intended

4) Next, compromise leg room for breathing space. After all, what's better.. being tangled like a pretzel or suffocating? Thought so. Now, don't be too conspicuous, you don't want to blow your cover here.. 4 or 5 holes will do.

5) Have the friend that put you in the box, take you a local shipping company. Depending on your weight, this could get costly. Here's hoping you're not a fat ass - it's coming out of your wallet.

6) Now for the most important step. You cannot breathe until the clerk at the shipping center buys into the idea that your deceased Grandmother's lamp is actually the item that we're sending. Checkpoint clear.

7) Now its time for you to pray that you don't have to travel across the United States in this undersized box. Good news for you is that package handlers take excellent care of their parcels over 70 lbs. So feel free to chat about the weather with them, maybe revisit the night that never happened where you slept with their wives, you know how it works.

8) If you arrive in Tijuana, don't come after me. Consider it a vacation that you wouldn't have otherwise had. Remember, I'm just showing you the proper steps to deliver yourself in a box. I didn't guarantee you would be smart.

9) Once you arrive at your location, hopefully not Tijuana, grab a sacked lunch and maybe run for President - we need a new one anyway. Don't say i didn't save you money on a plane ticket.

Disclaimer: Don't actually try this at home, unless you are idiot, in which case, you probably deserve it.

Fourty-five year old man robs lingerie store and claims he was a female elf, named Beho, at the time. He doesn't remember what happened. I can't figure out what's worse; going to jail for robbing a store or telling the world you thought you were a female elf from a video game.

ATTN: NEW AUTHORS!

The Wild Buffoon has decided to recruit new authors. We are looking for people who are willing to put time and effort into quality posts. We require humorous, intelligent, and or strange things that happen in life. You also must post regularly. If you think you can handle the requirements, post a comment and we will contact you about being an author for the greatest blog on Earth, Universe and possibly even the Galaxy. Ever.

Regards,
The Wild Buffoon Crew

Naomi Campbell forced to scrub floors after throwing her cell phone at her maid, hitting her in the head. Everyone needs a jewel-encrusted phone because they give better reception I'm sure. I wonder what her first name spelled backwards is? I think it's "I MOAN", which is exactly what she will be doing while sweeping that warehouse.

Bank robbed in Alaska using a burning torch made out of a T-shirt and metal pole. In other news, the Geico caveman is missing.

Mom guilty for using her baby as a weapon, swinging the child at her boyfriend. Some people don't deserve anything in life, unless it's a cold jail cell.

Woman steals catfish dinner, places strategically in purse, blows her cover, gets angry, tosses money, then throws catfish, hitting workers... pretty normal I'd say.

VIDEO: Steve Carell has a few drinks

VIDEO: The Amazing, Transforming Couch

Human body parts were delivered to the wrong address. They were delivered to the home of Hannibal Lecter instead.

Man breaks into ex-girlfriends house with sword and gets in a fight with the roommate who also bears a 3-foot sword. Can't we settle "who's the best ninja" with a casual agreement?

VIDEO: Chunk Interrogated by Jack Bauer

If you've seen the show 24, this is funny. If you haven't seen The Goonies, get a life.

100 Year Old Man Teaches Gang a Lesson

100 year old man fights off teen gang with Kung-Fu. Way to go Buster. When you think old people are too decrepit to fight back, think again. That old chap looks harmless but will give Chuck Norris a run for his money.

VIDEO: Emo. A fashion trend. Once you go emo, you never go back.

VIDEO: Beer Launching Fridge

Could be useful.


The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

A List of Children's Books that Never Made It

REJECTED DR. SEUSS BOOKS:

1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, You Bitch
2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
3. Fox In Detox
4. Who Shat in the Hat?
5. Horton Hires a Ho
6. The Flesh-Eating Lorax
7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
8. Your Colon Can Moo - Can You?
9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
10. The Cat in the Blender
11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out!
12. Are You My Proctologist?
13. Yentl the Lentil
14. My Pocket Rocket Needs a Socket
15. Aunts in My Pants

"LITTLE GOLDEN BOOKS THAT NEVER MADE IT"

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things


Eric Rogers Link

VIDEO: Pool shark, "Land and Shove It"

With a name like "Land and shove it", you have to be good.

The temperature of coffee expected to rise by the end of the century. Take that global warming.

Woman fires a handgun at a car while driving on the highway. Only in Detroit.

CD Players swear in church, bomb squad responds. A little over the top wouldn't you say?

Here's your horoscope at The Onion.

Here's a collection of notes that parents wrote to excuse their child from school. I hope these weren't your parents.

Deer rescued from coffee can, wow I can finally stop losing sleep over this poor soul now.

This guy rode his bicycle 19,000 miles in 9 months.

VIDEO: Ronaldinho Show

Arguably one of the best.

Pictures of strange accidents

Howard vs. Spurs

Just another textbook play. Right?

No Lifeguard at the Gene Pool

On a cloudy, windy day in Portland, Oregon, something eerie was going on at the local gene pool. There was no lifeguard on duty. Local residents were in an up-cry for concern for the health of their families and future of their town.

“I’m not sure what happened to him (referring to the lifeguard), he didn’t show up to do his moral duty for the day. I thought I could rely on him to do some good in the world, but he probably had a family party to attend too.”

“There are going to be a lot of problems in nine months. We have to prepare for the worst,” another resident suggested.

A local resident, Chaz Abraham, stated “It was like a free for all, everyone was hooking up at the gene pool. I hang out with some of the best looking people in town now that the lifeguard is gone.”

Other residents in the area caught a mysterious virus going around and were vomiting all day after the news was released.

On a side note, jobs for special learning teachers and nurses have increased in the area due to projected higher demands for the future.

Activist denies the holocaust happened

Yes, six million people must have just disappeared. Do not pass go, do not collect $100, go directly to jail.

It must have been cold out, this family tried barbecuing inside their house

"You don't want to be cooking with briquettes inside a house," Varelas said. "That's a no-no."

Excited Things

Some people and animals get ridiculously excited sometimes.

The CEO of Microsoft, Steve Ballmer getting pumped up.


Some kid didn't expect this gift from Santa AT ALL.


This pug loves watching tv.

The Heartbreaker Delight

A local man, age 24, admits to falling in love with three different girls in three weeks. Pete Jamesfield of Salt Lake City, Utah claims he is quite the mess these days. “All these ladies I’ve met in the last three weeks or so are marriage material. I wouldn’t hesitate buying any one of them a ring… at ANY time,” he states. Recently admitting to a small problem with the second love of three weeks, Pete claims “She has this dog, and that little rascal is always there, I can’t seem to get rid of her, it’s like a package deal but I can always fall back on one of my other loves when things go awry – and that’s the beauty in this predicament I’ve gotten myself into!”

This certain love-triangle all started on the first day he met each of them. The first week he met Laverne (the first), he kept parading about and telling all of his friends, “I’m going to marry this girl, I love her.” Malory (the second) weirdly received the same treatment after the first two days he met her. “She was just as amazing as the first, no more or no less” he states. His friends believe he doesn’t want to have favorites so he keeps them all at the same “unconditional love level”.

He talked the most about Karen in the interview, she was the one that he recently met and was pondering the thought of a great proposal. “I just met her yesterday and she is amazing. She won’t stop calling. I got worried when she didn’t call me during lunch, but I got a text instead, and that is fine by me! I want the perfect proposal, maybe send her to the spa all day, get her nice and relaxed, in a good mood and then BOOM I get down on my knee, and hope she says yes. She will be a huge part of my life; I’m willing to give her a full third of it!”

The Segway Phenomenon

I started thinking, is it even possible to look 'cool' riding a Segway? You may ask what a Segway is, and I'm sure you've seen them around. Here's the nifty little device.



I searched for examples of people riding them to find the answer:

Here's a couple of cool cats. I can almost guarantee they are saying "Look Ma, no hands!"


If you're a real risk taker, here's a model for you. This guy lives by the quote "If you're not livin' on the edge, you're takin' up too much space."


Here's a guy you might recognize, Mr. George W. Bush. He was probably trying to land a sweet trick and ended up falling over on his hot ride. Next time stick the landing G-Dub.




The only cool picture I've found is below, a guy jumping out of a plane with one in his hand, in which case this guy is still an idiot, like the rest, because he forgot a parachute. Maybe he's hoping the segway will break his fall.




In conclusion: It doesn't matter if you're off-roading, landing tricks, riding with no hands, or even jumping out of a place with one, a segway will NOT make you look cool. Better luck next time suckers.

Rosie on Anna Nicole. Gross.

Rosie seems like a considerate lady, The Donald might need to put her in her place again.

Stewie Wants His Money from Brian

That little rat Stewie gets has a small problem with Brian apparently.
"Yeah, that's what happens man, that's what happens"
"You got money to pay for fake mustaches, huh? Where's my money?"

Ridiculous Windows 386 Ad

A Windows 386 Ad from the early 90's. Are you kidding me??

VIDEO: Doritos SuperBowl Ad